MINDSET FOR A HAPPY MARRIAGE
Author: Jeff Anderson
If you’re interested in the best marriage possible or if you’re looking for insight into saving a troubled relationship, you may have seen lots of cute sayings on Facebook or in the art section of Hobby Lobby. “Acceptance is the key to happiness”. “Today is the only day you’ve got, so make it count”. “You don’t have to like what someone does to love who they are”.
They all make sense and they’re all true at a point or in a certain context. Perception, as they say, is reality. But how can you train your mind to believe you have a happy marriage? More importantly, what is the mindset to keep to actually have a happy marriage? The truth is nobody has a perfect answer. We’re all so different and live in such different circumstances that there is no “one size fits all” response. Even so, here are some universal mindsets for a happy marriage:
- Talk every day.
- Your spouse is the best spouse for you that could ever have been created. Believe it.
- Don’t let a day go by without saying “I love you” to your spouse.
- Your husband/wife is your best friend in the world. Share with them, laugh with them, play with them and support them.
- Make sure your partner knows you’re there for them, no matter what.
- Marriage is about “ours”. “Mine” and “yours” get left at the alter.
- The only time the word “divorce” is said is when someone really wants a divorce. Threatening divorce only gets you closer to Court.
- People who love each other don’t degrade, curse, or belittle each other. Hard words create hard feelings and that’s not what a marriage is suppose to be about.
- Never do something when your spouse isn’t there that you wouldn’t do if they were standing right beside you.
- Always be honest, but never cruel.
- Secrets destroy relationships from the inside out. The only secrets that work in a marriage are the ones shared with each other.
- If you can, take your spouse’s call.
- Talking is better than texting.
- Your spouse should be loved no matter what, no matter when, no matter why.
- Your children are watching the way you treat your spouse. So treat him or her like they’ll remember it, because they will.
- Don’t be afraid to tell your spouse what bugs you.
- Talk about what you want in the bedroom.
- Your spouse should always know what your dreams are so he/she can help you realize them.
- Respect your spouse when you’re with them and respect them even more when you’re not.
- Surround yourself with friends who support your marriage. The friends who want you to do things which would disrespect your spouse are either not such good friends or in a bad place themselves.
- Friends are important and it’s great to have friends you can talk to about your relationship with your spouse. But if that relationship is in trouble, the first person to talk to is your husband or wife.
- Forgive your spouse.
- There has never been anyone more perfect for someone than your spouse is for you . . . ever.
- If you do something wrong, own it, say you’re sorry and ask for forgiveness. Don’t try to make excuses.
- Never talk badly about your spouse in public.
- Never stop dating (your spouse).
- Hold hands with your spouse.
- Turn off your cell phones.
- Our marriage is the end, not the means. Our job is the means, not the end.
- Loving your spouse is a choice and requires action.
- Everyday say “I pick you” and prove it.