Acting Like an Adult During A Midlife Divorce


Midlife Divorces Common, But Bring New Difficulties

According to a recent article in the Huffington Post, midlife divorces are on the rise. Why are more people getting divorced just as they’re entering a financially comfortable period? The reasons differ among divorcing couples, but reasons include waiting for the kids to get older or realizing that life is too short to stay in an unhappy relationship. Indeed, more divorcing spouses are waiting until their “children are older or have already left the nest.” Once the kids have moved out, “there are fewer and fewer reasons to stay.”
But are these midlife divorces more amicable than those involving heated custody disputes? For many middle-aged and older adults, a divorce that occurs later in life can actually bring about a lot of immaturity. According to Abby Rodman, a licensed independent clinical social worker, the emphasis on anti-aging across the country has left many Americans in their 50s and 60s feeling younger than ever. Yet when those people decide to file for divorce, it’s important to act like a grown-up. Rodman explains that “midlife divorce challenges us to remain in grown-up mode even when it pushes us to feel like tantruming two-year-olds.”
How can you help to protect your family and your role as a parent during the difficult process of divorce? Even though many midlife divorces involve couples who have been together for their entire adult lives and may be facing serious emotional adjustments surrounding separation, it’s important to remember that you’re “creating a divorce legacy for yourself and your children,” Rodman emphasizes. She provides some important tips for getting through your divorce in a mature and respectable manner.

Keep Away from Social Media

Social media platforms like Facebook and Twitter allow us to post information about some of the most personal aspects of our lives for all of our friends and family to read. It’s important to remember that almost anyone can have access to these posts, and it’s not a good idea to taunt your spouse by posting about a recent date or complaining about aspects of your divorce. Additionally, you may be giving your spouse ammunition to use against you during divorce proceedings.
According to Rodman, it’s this simple: “if you don’t want your kids or your boss to see it or read it, don’t post it.” As she explains, by the time we reach middle age, social media really is best used for promoting our businesses, connecting with friends from the past, or sharing appropriate photographs with friends and family. To be sure, “your divorce is not for public consumption.”

Don’t Bring Your Kids into the Divorce

Even if your kids are in their late teens or early twenties, they can still be psychologically affected by your divorce. It’s important to remember that your children can’t act as your friend or your therapist during this stressful time, and you shouldn’t expect them to listen to details about the divorce. When you’re experiencing extreme anxiety during your divorce, it’s important to seek the advice of a qualified therapist. And for all other legal concerns, you should contact an experienced Texas divorce lawyer.
Are you going through a challenging divorce? Contact an experienced Dallas divorce attorney at the law offices of Orsinger, Nelson, Downing, & Anderson, L.L.P. today. We can be reached in Dallas at 855-516-2641, or in our San Antonio offices at 888-806-1987.